bargains

i recently got a great deal on the most fun vehicle i've ever owned, and even more recently got a bag full of clothes for $17.48 at Goodwill on a special "everything's $2 day". i am stoked! yes, all of my life i've been a thrift-queen, frugal-franny, and digger-in-bargain-bins. you know that lady whose face you don't see because she's buried under the crazy bargain-bin pile? yep, that's me. but i have no shame. i've learned to love and embrace this part of me - heck, i'm even quite proud of it. it's this thriftiness (i choose to think of it as a conscious awareness practice), combined with a lot of trust, which has given me what i consider to be the abundant life i've always lived. i want to note that included in abundance is the immense generosity of many loved ones and the universe, which has plenty for all. but i highgress ... where was i?
oh yes, i was speaking of sales, bargains, coupons, deals, freebies, barters, mark-downs, wholesale, gifts, airline miles, etc - LOVE them. however, the down side of this is when you let your heart shift a bit more to the greedy or penny-pinching side. i've gone there in the past and tried out 'freebie websites' to get deals and make some money, but ended up wasting a lot of time and energy, and losing money in the end. i realized i'd become too focused on the deals and what i could get, rather than what i actually needed. and it bit me in the ass. duly noted for future - keep motives clear.
so, this being the holiday season and all, i thought i'd write some thoughts about this particular passion of mine in hopes that maybe some of you would become more conscious about where your money is going or not going, as you peruse the aisles at Shops-a-lot or the Web that wants to trap you and feed you to the Spider of Commerce (insert creepy music). there's tremendous satisfaction in knowing that you managed to get groovy stuff for your loved ones and still have money to pay rent next month. believe me.
so, be creative, be wise, be aware. and look for the "buy one get one free" sign!

san francisco

i just came down from the highest point in san francisco (which happens to be my backyard), and i'm almost speechless. almost. the view was the most stunning one i've seen since living here. maybe even ever. i stood on the top and just received the 360 degree beauty-gift.

to the south: expansive city rolling over the horizon toward the airport and los angeles.

to the east: oh my. it was dusk, so the sun had just set, but the city was still quite visible. all of the street lights and car lights had come on, so the city sparkled with crazy-colored jewels shimmering about. the magnificence of man was doing a dance below me. and above, the most ginormous full moon shining on the bay and covering the city. an ode to its glory.

to the north: the Golden Gate bridge with it's fascinating beauty that we all find pride in, as if we'd had a hand in constructing the beams. framed by the backdrop of the Marin Headlands, i'm not sure that i'd realized the fine-tuned balance of man and nature until today.

to the west: well. to the west is that great expanse that holds more mystery than anything else on earth. the water was clear and still and stretched out to a ruler-straight horizon. the sun had just tucked itself into bed and left burnt sienna smears behind. actually, it was a color that crayola probably hasn't invented yet. it must be the color of air in our lungs, because it was filling mine.

i felt something akin to royalty in those moments. pure peace, only interrupted by the decision of which direction to turn next. i suppose i'm sharing this experience because i haven't always been sure about my feelings for san francisco. today i understood how very passionate i am about this city with it's powerful mind and it's beautiful Mother. i know that there is big purpose and a sparkling path to meander on. i'm so thankful for being plunked down in a place that honors the universal connectedness of all. and i'm so thankful for seeing that represented in the view from Twin Peaks tonight.
(deep breath in, big sigh out)

symbol of abundance or "car"

so, after 6+ years of being carless, i just bought a car and drove it home yesterday. my attitude toward vehicles and most things is a very simplistic, minimalist one. don't need bells and whistles, as long as it gets me from point A to point B. my tendency has always been to look at nearly dead used cars or stripped bare new cars (as in manual roll-down windows and no A/C). but a few months ago i started saying that i wanted something perfect for me, whatever that meant. i also said that i wanted a free car, realizing that what i was really asking for was a great deal, since i'm not a panhandler by trade. i started trusting that it would come and not be a big time-guzzler (since i have no time to guzzle these days).
i spent one morning looking at cars and at the 2nd place i went, a car in the way-back of the used car section was singing to me. weird, cuz it was red and i generally don't like red. probably cuz i have a story that it's pretentious or something. anyway, i went back and looked at it and knew it wanted me as much as i wanted it. it was in pristine shape and had low mileage. i made a very low offer, which i thought they'd laugh at, but after a 30 minute connection with the Russian manager, he said "okay, i'll do it, since you love my Russia so much". i signed the paperwork the same day and am now an owner of a Red BMW Convertible (!).
how cliche. and how ironic, since i'm the antithesis of cliche. part of me feels strange for having something so extravagant, but what i'm learning from this car is that abundance is. period. it just is. when we ask, we are given. but will we graciously accept it? i don't need a gadget that tells me how many more miles i can drive before my gas runs out, but i've got it. and i'm so thankful for it. giddy with gratitude, in fact.
my friend told me that i'm magic. somehow producing things out of thin air. but that's cuz i believe in it and there's a 'greater than' on my side. askin' and callin' it in, that's what.
i'm so excited about the convertible part, that i think i shall drive with it down always. i'll keep some supplies in the glove box - swim goggles for foggy days and a beanie cap with umbrella for rainy days.
is this a blog about my car? nope. but, you got that, right?
where's your symbol of the abundance of the earth? there's always enough for all, and sometimes extravagance even pours in, cuz that's the way it is.

p.s. is it annoying that i write 'because', 'cuz'?

truth..

or dare?... for me the ultimate dare is the ultimate truth. i spent the majority of my life keeping my own truth inside. only saying what i thought others wanted to hear. only saying what i thought would be accepted and admired. keeping the honest and authentic stuff for whispered conversations with myself.
but no more. i'm surrounding myself with the color of truth (blue) and paying much more attention to my throat chakra. i'm challenging myself daily to not only speak my truth, but to hear it in the first place. this takes listening ears. i have to hear from the inside, even more than the outside, to really know what's true for me. this is vital, because if i don't know it for myself, then how can i communicate it to others?
and you know what's really freeing? truth is far from absolute. what's true for me, may not be true for you. and that's okay. as long as you know yours and i know mine and we're meeting in a place of gorgeous authenticity. what more could we ask? as far as i'm concerned, real honesty is where love resides. love of self and love of other.
so get ready - i'm about to point out when you have a booger in your nose or b.o. or a bad haircut. well, just kidding. if that's what you think this is about, go back and read it again. and then hang out with yourself on occasion to think about what truth is for you. what's your definition? can you make a list of some truths? how easy is it for you to communicate it to others? maybe you're one of those people whose truth fits you like a good pair of jeans. you provoke both hope and envy in me. but i'm on my way. i want that kind of freedom.
yes, and so be it.

art

think of how much art is a part of our world - there's art in smart, tart, start, partition, mart, fart, participate, dart, arthritis, earth, warthog, part, cart, parthenon, artichoke, farthing, party, chart, BART, partner, and heart. can you add some more words to the list? i'd like to know all of them, please.
and then there are other important things to say about art...

i define art as 'the outward expression of the inward experience'. too often we get hung up on thinking there's a certain way to do it or a certain outcome that's expected; we need training in technique; we need to sell or publish before we're 'legit'. well, those are just the stories flying around in our heads. i used to believe them, but not anymore. the truth is, if you have something to say or draw or cook or paint or write or knit or dance or sing or play or bake or build or sculpt or mold or sew or, or, or...
yep, that makes you an artist. putting something 'out there' that's 'in there' is all it takes, and that's the only story that's true. i love participating in and observing the creation of art. everyone's life-process is unique and there's so much to express.
so, as you jump in to more of you, see what leaks out. maybe it's a silly poem or a crazy-happy-dance or a deep, dark secretive painting, or a scrumptious cake-a-dilly delight. it's all good, and you will know yourself just a bit better for having put something observable out there. art - artist - artistic - artistically - artisticallyfragilisticexpialidocious!

flowers

so who doesn't like flowers? getting them, receiving them, picking them, looking at them, meditating on them. my darling friends gave me these last night after a performance - aren't they gorgeous?
i love that flowers are used by us humans as a form of emotional expression. they're part of weddings, funerals, parties, given as a healing gesture to the sick, a gift on a birthday, a congratulations for accomplishments, a sign of friendship or love. i have a favorite russian kids cartoon, where all the animals in the forest keep passing along a found bouquet of flowers to each other and when asked "za chem?"(what for?), the answer is always "prosta tak" (just because); my favorite reason for gifting.
always representative of life, beauty and the spectrum of color that illumines our world, flowers are some of the best teachers, if we take time to learn their lessons. i want so much to be a better student of nature.
my favorite flower is a gerbera daisy. i love its openness and bright color that seems to say, "look at me, look at me!" the epitome of an outgoing friend, without fear or hesitation. on the other hand, i love calla lilies, who are some of the most melancholy, mysterious flowers i've experienced. all curled up, they don't want to reveal their core too easily. you have to really look for what's inside if you wanna know. i can relate to both flowers at a life-level.
what's your favorite flower? ask it why. you'll love the answer you get, and i can pretty much bet that you'll never walk past one again without passing it a smile or knowing look.
stick some in your hair, make necklaces, tape one to your nose and breathe deeply. flower-power!

wholeness

probably as most humans have, i've been on a life-journey of finding wholeness. that integration of body, emotions, mind and spirit, which will produce a completely whole and functioning being. "holism", if you will. while healing is involved in that process, i've learned not to put too much focus on it, because focus on healing causes focus on pain and brokenness. i prefer to put my attention to the teacher that pain can be. (what can i learn? what is it trying to tell me about my thought/feeling-life?) and setting intentions toward wholeness. this kind of focus brings hope (and ultimately healing).
through my training in massage therapy, i'm having some very interesting experiences. i'm finding that there's emotional pain stored in my body that my mind is not even aware of. hear that? - body, emotions, mind, all functioning separately. as those things start to surface and release out, i'm one step closer to wholeness, where everything is inseparable in harmony. fascinating stuff. have to put in another plug for bodywork - get it! everyone needs it and it will amp up your journey to wholeness.
i'm reading a book that i highly recommend called, "You can heal your life" by Louise L. Hay. a little cheesemo at times, but overall very chewy stuff. profound but simple concepts.
so that's my preach for the day. i'll try to move on to something lighter next time. god knows i've got plenty of that material, too. :)
happy day!

aloneness

i dearly love to be alone. love it and need it. don't get me wrong, i adore me some people; but when it comes to recharging my energy battery, i have to do it with just me. when i'm in that space, only trees, oceans, flowers and birds are welcome.
so, the thing that i'm finding is that as i commune with myself and nature and the great love that's always swirling, i can bring what i've accumulated in aloneness and pour it into togetherness. i fully believe in love and loving relationships, friendships, families, etc., but i realize that for them to be at their full potential requires me being happy just being with me. this is a beautiful thing to embrace whenever your facebook status happens to be "single". welcome it, don't resent it; hug it, don't hate on it. it's not a curse - it's an opportunity.
a friend just commented the other day about how there are millions of "me and you goin' fishin' in the dark" songs in the universe, but no "i'm flying solo and lovin' it" songs out there. so, i decided to start writing one for her. i only had 5 minutes to commit to it, so don't judge. :)

surround me with love and songs and paint;
give me a brush and a quiet rendition.
i'll give it my all just for me and my shadow -
check the box if you've read the terms and conditions.
don't push me baby, cuz i ain't no saint;
i'll do what i want when i want to (yeah),
and this is love, too, of another dimension.
(do-wop-wop-do-wop)

ok, but seriously, i do realize that sometimes aloneness can cross the line into loneliness. or i can get disillusioned with people and want to just hole up away from them. (i recently thought about creating "hermit the blog", dedicated to the art of being alone, but since i can't even keep up with this one, 2 is probably a bit ambitious.) anyway, i believe that even the shadow side of aloneness has value. and i'm doing my best not to run away from it.
if you happen to be partnered in life, i encourage you to find that time to retreat off into your own body, soul and spirit; if you happen to be single, sing hallelujah for the opportunity you have with yourself. and make friends with lots of trees.

fog

rolling, moving, dense and wet.
why can't i see the tree that once was there?
everything is blurry and mysterious.
it engulfs; it infuses; it holds me like a shrouded lover.
on every side, all around.
it has no beginning and it has no end.
coming and going without warning.
a special beauty that needs willing eyes to see.
seemingly obstructing my path, but is it?
it hides; it confuses; it creates peace and presence.
it's alive and well...
and i am in awe.

spirit-friends

sometimes, don't you just want to acknowledge and honor the people who have most influenced your life? those gals (or guys) who helped you to be more you than you ever were? i have 2 friends that came divinely into my life about 11 years ago and torqued my world forever. it was an instant and strong 3-way connection, as with a very thick chain, but with the beauty of a prism refraction. these women called out my most inner me - my creative, my passion, my spirit, my dance, my ornamentation, my beauty. simply their essence challenged, provoked and guided me. i found truth and light like never before. oh, and a way to play that was even beyond the capacity of the children i cared for. white boa guitar straps, giant platform shoes, watercolors, wire-sculpted kites, spirit songs, full-fledged giraffes, art parties, tears, laughs, and the most affirming response of all time: "are you kidding me?"
these are obviously "inside memories", but i want all readers who come upon this entry to be included in the sacredness of transforming friendship. when someone comes into your life who sees you, hears you and feels exceedingly safe, open to the love being offered. love in return. your path will be forever affected.
mary keith and ashley - eternal gratitude. love. devotion. upward rotation.

collage

i've always had a thing for collage. it probably started in preschool and never left me. i love how it's just a big, jumbled mess of representation, overlapping and peeking. the therapy is in the process - thumbing, finding, ripping, cutting, gluing and placing in just the right spot. or not. there's no right or wrong and lots of room for 'mistakes'.
a few years ago, i bought a condo in Nashville. the best part of ownership was that i got to create it up any way i wanted. so i decided to collage a wall. about 8 of my closest friends came over with magazines, scissors and Elmer's and we went to town on that wall, between chips and dips and sips of wine. it was the most beautiful wall i've ever seen.

i also decided to do a woodblock collage series for 4 children in my life, each significant to them as past, present and future. it's interesting to see how some of what i included for them is only now unfolding, many years later. the one pictured i made for my friend, jordan smallwood. he's now 20 years old and still has it displayed in his room (the little darling).
i was planning on writing about collage this week and then found out that we're going to be collaging in my art group this sunday. i love how things are always syncing up in the universe. it's going to be an exploration of the anima and animus - the true inner self vs. the outward persona. can't wait to see what happens with that.
so my final thoughts about collage - anyone can do it, everyone should try it and you'll be amazed at what you learn about yourself through the process. oh, and #1 - it's mad-fun!

pregnancy

what is it about lady-with-a-baby-inside that makes everyone go "aw" and fills me with the softest tenderness? it must be the miracle of growing a little life that's going to peek into the world eventually. how absolutely intricate and amazing are our woman-bodies. though i've never experienced this inside-person myself, i've gone through many pregnancies with many friends and think it must be the most crazy, spiritual, raw, inside-out, inspiring, frightening, overwhelming, undoing imaginable. i've watched 3 women give birth and am eternally grateful for their allowing me that experience. i hope i will have many more. i once considered becoming a midwife, but decided that my phobia of needles and blood would hinder my effectiveness as a baby-catcher. :o) i'm now studying massage therapy and hope that i'll be able to serve and promote wellness in mothers-to-be and their newborns through this needle-less modality.
the process of holding space for a child until they birth into life is beyond words. i want to give a shout out to my dear friend, Hillary the midwife, for pouring her life into her life-giving work. i want to plug a fantastic documentary film called "The Business of Being Born" - you'll be blessed to watch it. and i want to give a shout out to all the moms of the world for your bravery, sacrifice and love. (reverential bow)

groovy shoes

how often do you think about your feet? they really work hard for us, but are quite under-appreciated. through my massage studies, i'm finding much more appreciation of and giving more attention to those far-from-head appendages that take such a daily beating. and out of that attention, i'm more convinced than ever that well-made, foot-aware footwear is the way to go. and when you can throw in a dash of groovy on top..well.
i've always loved groovy shoes. fun, funky, outrageous, bizarre, interesting, creative. they can decorate up a quite boring outfit. or just add a little more pizazz to what's already cookin' in your style. and with certain designers, buying those shoes is investing in art. unfortunately, i've spent too much of my life searching for the best deals (i.e. cheapest), which are often made of junk material, have no support, and are usually just shy of ugly. the best shoe decisions of my life are the ones that cost more than a day's wages, because after all, quality costs.
so, i made an elaborate purchase today, but not so much since my feet have been sending me love tingles all the day long.
john fluevog angels.
it's like cloud-walking.
they're so pretty i can't take my eyes off them.
i think mr. fluevog created them just for me.
can't think of a better foot-present.
groovyness and all that. don'chu get in my way, or i kick you wit my new shoes!

doors

a few years ago i started noticing that all of the pictures i took from my travel wanderings had some random doors in the mix. usually with some element of oddity
or strange beauty around them. a door of an ancient church in montenegro, a gated door by a canal in venice, 2 mysterious doors in an alleyway in stockholm. i didn't take these intentionally, so obviously something about them struck me enough to photograph them. that's when i remembered that recurring themes in life usually have a universal purpose, so i started paying more attention to them. i won't insult your intelligence by giving you all of the door metaphors, but i will say that something greater than curiosity makes me want to open them all and see what purpose they serve. what's behind there? something to admire? or fear? or embrace? but there's a great wisdom in just observing their closed-ness and allowing wonder to speak.

ellen

i'm not a big t.v. fan, but 2 years ago i discovered Ellen Degeneres' talk show and got hooked. not that i plan my life around it or anything, but when i'm home and it's on, i flick the flick. where else can you dance, laugh, play games, and find out what's up with folks? actually, that's like most of my life, so i guess i like that Ellen has the same values. but the real draw is that she's so super real, speaks her truth, gives generously and has my dream wardrobe (not that i could pull it off). she's made her mark and is carrying the power well. it's so refreshing to see a star that shines.
so next time you're dying to stick your blindfolded face into a giant pizza, but don't really want to get pepperoni in your nose hairs, let the Ellen show do it for you. and hey, i wouldn't mind if they rolled the Gold Digger booth to my house, so i could stuff $2000 into my shirt and pants!
here's one of my favorite clips where Ellen talks to Gladys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83JDXXKzOXg&feature=related
enjoy!!

massage

if you're like me, you've probably mostly thought of getting a massage as a luxury that you can only justify paying for once a decade. but that's changing. i'm beginning to see it as a part of holistic health that can not only aid in healing, but keep one in their healthy shoes so that healing isn't necessary. now, who doesn't like to lay down on a table with a little face-hole in it and get all of their stress, toxins, sadness and demons rubbed out? not to mention getting healing, love, wholeness and angels rubbed in.
though it can be a bit pricey, depending on your insurance coverage and where you go, i'm becoming more and more convinced of the therapy of massage in all of it's modalities. in fact, i've been stirring around a pot of ideas for a long time, and one of them is to become a massage therapist myself. maybe even specialize in pre-natal and infant massage, so as to get some of the fulfillment i would've had as a midwife, but without the blood and placentas (whoa - i get woozy just thinking about it).
so, starting next week, i'm grabbing my lunch box and skipping all the way to the Richmond District to start learning about how to gift out healing to the world through touch. and the beautiful thing is that i get to be a participant in the process and the therapy for this next season.
if you find yourself in SF, be sure to include a student massage from the World School in your tour package (it'll be the cheapest thing you do here). and it's mmmmm...

play

you can probably deduce from the name of my blog that "play" is my main passion. play, as a subject matter, was brought to my attention again recently when a friend of mine shared an article she wrote about it. you can read it here (it's SO worth the read): http://www.changestartsathome.com/social/live-to-play-play-to-live/
i think the child in me has always sought out being with children, so that i can continue to learn and experience play as a participant and observer. i'm so thankful for the little girl that i spend 8 hours a day with. i would call it my work, but it's really my play that i happen to get paid for. seeing the world through her eyes, and realizing that it's beckoning us to play with every dimension, is priceless. i should be paying her parents for the teaching and the joy that i receive every day.
just today we had a playdoh incident. i learned a valuable lesson. playing with the playdoh was an outlet for her to find fulfillment, concentration, joy and creativity. it also made space for her to be frustrated and angry when the shapes didn't conform to her liking. the light and the shadow sides all came forward. so, apparently play is not only fun, but useful and self-revealing. as adults, we can use it as a flashlight to notice things. and children, well children will play for the sake of play and nothing can stop them. it's their authentic nature.
observe a child playing and see what you notice or learn from it (but remember that adults must be accompanied by a child on the playground - i don't want to feel responsible when you get arrested). :o)
pick a play and do it! here are some ideas: play Twister, skip against the flow of pedestrian traffic, build a blanket fort, think of a part of you that you don't like and rock it to sleep, do a cartwheel in an inappropriate place, make genitalia out of clay (this will really make you laugh), have a lemonade stand in front of your house, paint your feet and make footprint art, write a limerick about something or nothing, walk backwards uphill, write notes to yourself and attach them to your shirt with clothespins, make up a dance routine to your favorite tune from Grease (i did this when i was 5). that should get you started...

naps

i'm a big fan of getting in a few zzzs in the afternoon time. i don't get to do it often, but have always loved to catch a few minutes to refresh and take care of that after-lunch slump. even when i worked in an office, i would drive to the park, lean my car seat way back, and doze off for half an hour. now i work with a toddler who has a mandatory nap time and occasionally we manage to syncronize our snoring.
for many years, i felt shame about my love of naps, because there's a lot of bunk in our culture that says nap equals lazy. we have to work, work, work, and many are even quite proud of their ability to function on a few hours of sleep a night. so sad. and so unhealthy. i've recently come to realize that naps are actually part of my unique human design (http://humandesignamerica.com/), contributing to my creativity and health. so now, rather than shame, i've started to feel longing for those places in the world where siestas are an integrated part of society. how great to get to close down shop for a couple of hours after lunch to go home and take a nap!
a few words from SARK on the value of nap-taking: "all at once, you sail away into a nap, where tangled nerves are untied, and where time stops. guilt and expectations are not welcome in napland. you can always find a reason not to take a nap. find more reasons to let naps take you!"

coffee shops

so, i was skipping down the street without a destination in mind, when what should come wafting into my nostrils but the most beautiful aroma of coffee. i could say i was assaulted by it, but that would suggest that i was somehow a victim. on the contrary, i was taken into another dimension by the thought of wandering into a newfound coffee shop. the coffee shop is something quite "other than" in its function. each one is multi-faceted and has something or nothing to offer, which makes it unique from every other one. i've been captivated by coffee shops all over the world, since the revolution swept through from the west coast in the '90s (although credit where credit is due, italy has been way ahead of the starbucks-revolution for centuries).
as my thoughts are flying about this topic, i realize that i could probably write a book as easily as a blog entry. there's much to say. but i will condense for the sake of the reader, who likely enjoys bite-sized bits of reading.
i won't presume to understand the draw of the coffee shop to humanity in general, but will elaborate on my personal feelings about it:
it's a place where one can be utterly alone in the midst of a crowd. this is something i've found that i need much of in my life. together-aloneness.
its offerings are usually of the warm, comfort-drink type and not-so-heavy-maybe even-healthy-food type. and i can often sit down with my tray of goodies for under $10 (even in SF).
there are many interesting people, conversations, decor, newspapers, employees and bathrooms to engage with.
but the very topmost reason for my love is that coffee shops often throw down a huge welcome mat for the creative, artistic soul to come in. there is space at the tables, on the walls, on the floor, in the air. space for thinking, for writing, for drawing, for knitting, for molding, for reading, for graphic designing, for healing, for music, for dancing. even if all of these things don't take place within its walls, there is a space for everything to be born in a coffee shop. i shouldn't say a coffee shop, but the coffee shop. you know the one(s) in the place where you live that opens its doors for you to open your heart. it gives you safety, comfort, affirmation. and a great cup o' joe. if you haven't found it yet, keep looking. it's definitely out there (and it's most likely not starbucks).

turtles

i was in an art group many months ago, where the leader asked us to close our eyes and allow an animal to come into our minds eye, then draw it. i thought, "oh great. now i have to think up which animal i want." but thankfully, the animal came to me before i could use my mental capacities to invent it. it was a turtle. i thought that was pretty random since i never think about turtles, nor have i ever particularly liked them. but i went ahead and drew it. then colored it. then wrote all of the words and phrases that came to me about it. in those moments, the turtle became my life-symbol and my new friend.

so, a few thoughts about turtles:
no matter where they go, they are always at home; they are slow and steady; they have built-in protection around them; they camouflage into their environment; they are very determined; they have survived for over 200 million years; they have a very long life-span (often over 100 years); they're quite beautiful.
around the world and in different cultures, the turtle symbolizes such things as: wisdom, longevity, patience, female energy, divinity, Mother Earth, creation, stability, self-containment, protection, creative source and being grounded. just to name a few.
not only did this turtle come into my mind that night, but has continued to surface time and again since then. of course. that's how things work when they want to get your attention. some call these signs or wonders. i call them fantastic!
one of my dear ones just found her horse. what animal wants to come into your realm?

sculpey

one of my favorite mediums to create with is sculpey clay. sculpey is actually a particular brand name of polymer clay, but for me it's like calling a tissue a kleenex. give me some sculpey in fashion colors and my 10 digits, and i'll make something that will make me smile. i can't help it - i mean, i'm a tactile person, so smooshing and squishing a wad of clay into something with form makes me oogly-happy. it's even more fulfilling than folding laundry!
not sure when i first discovered sculpey and the joys therein, but over the years i've poured many inspired hours into 'faces of food' magnets, clay-cards, flowers, figures, even wedding cake toppers. featured in the picture is a wedding cake topper i made for my dear, dear friend, wendy. henry and henrietta are two characters that she created and i just captured them in clay for her wedding day. now they're framed on her wall.
fun stuff. get your hands in it and you'll be addicted, too!

sky

big, big, blue sky. my favorite place in all the universe. well, actually it is the universe. no matter the condition of the sky - cirrus, cumulonimbus, altostratus infested; bright and blinding blue; star-spattered darkness - it pulls me in to its eternal self. it's funny how we name the sky as if it were an object. something we could touch if only we could reach that high. but it's the most subjective thing imaginable. actually, it's not a thing or a container or even a place - it just is. it is the definition of expanse and eternity; of possibility and mysticism. even when our view is blocked by the rolling fog or a tall building, it continues on. and on and on.
one of the coolest things to me is that the color of that great expanse is blue. which also happens to be the color of truth. hmmmm...try to connect the dots. or if that's too hard, just lie in the grass and look up at the night sky and connect those dots of fiery balls of gas into something that nourishes you. or amuses you. whatever you need.
shalom.

dance

i've been dancing ever since i was 5 (at least that's my first memory), busting out my hipster moves in the living room to my "Grease" soundtrack vinyl. dude, i thought i was Sandra Dee. but due to dancing being very frowned upon in the church i grew up in, my moves were kept private for most of my life. then in my mid 20's, i realized that to dance was to breathe for me. it's how i experienced god. i started taking classes of every shape and form - modern, ballet, swing, hip-hop, jazz, african, ballroom, contact-improv, freeform. (oh, side note: recently a friend of mine told me about 'Pussycat Dolls dancing' and tempting though it sounds, for now I've opted out of that one.) i even got so obsessed that i created a large dance studio in my house, just to have a space (which i used almost daily). these days, though, my obsession has mellowed into a healthy respect and awe for the art form.
so for me, dance is not just a passion, it's a tool. i've found that it's a form of therapy and a way of healing, like none other. the music, the rhythm, the heavy thumpa-thumpa, but mostly the movement. that connection between your spirit and body that happens in the space of movement is indescribable. and addictive. and beautiful. go ahead - try it. while nobody's looking.