tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26260568212337859852024-03-13T14:46:11.483-07:00Play with your Passionsa playground for all things passion, which inspire cartwheels, goofy smiles, fiery eyes, peaceful presence and rending of clothinganissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-90942897026654728202012-02-22T18:02:00.002-08:002012-02-22T18:09:41.449-08:00sleep“You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone” - Joni Mitchell knew some stuff. Sometimes we humans (for sure the American kind) tend to take things for granted. You know, like food, water, a flushing toilet, sleep. Until lately, I always did. Now for the first time in my life, I’ve been dealing with insomnia. I mean, I’ve always been a light sleeper and of course I have jetlag issues when flying across the world, but this was a whole other thing. It’s been a roller coaster ride that escalated last week when I only got an average of 3 hours sleep a night. By day seven I was walking a bit crooked, hearing my own voice outside my body and having a few conversations with the Care Bears. Not good. I finally decided that I had to take a day off work and go to the doctor for a pill. Either that or call a good friend (or enemy) to come hit me over the head with a bat.<br /><br />Now why am I telling you all about my bout of insomnia? Maybe because I’m getting older and a lot of old people like to talk about their ailments, but I think it’s more to get the chance to write about sleep. Marvelous sleep. It’s coming back to me gradually and I’m finding a whole new gratitude for it. Besides the replenishing and restoration it provides for our bodies, sleep is when we get to dream. And those dreams have implications for our lives, if not full-on messages. Oh, and if you happen to believe in such things, sleep gives angels a chance to whisper things to our spirits, unhindered by the so-called “logic” we often wear in our wake-time. <br /><br />So I’d like to get lots of it every night. But I’ve stopped assuming that it’s going to magically come to me every time I lie down and close my eyes. Sometimes there's work to do: letting go of stress, making life changes, aligning inside, getting our groove in rhythm with our heart, or maybe just taking time to acknowledge our breath. Or maybe, maybe I need to laugh more (is that possible?)… <br /><br />It’s a challenging process and I’m learning to be patient and gentle with myself. Perhaps next time sleep evades me, instead of fighting it and being frustrated, I’ll use the time more wisely by getting up and doing animal impersonations.<br /><br />Sweet dreams…anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-6624529627165016662011-10-06T13:05:00.000-07:002011-10-06T14:54:31.538-07:00inspirationwe've all got those people in our lives who give us the motivation to take another step toward our greater purpose (don't you love when someone just dives right in with a sentence like this?). the ones who, often passively by their mere essence, encourage us to go far and wide and long and deep. i've been blessed to be surrounded by such folk throughout my life. i suppose i seek out these ones, everywhere i go, knowing that the inspiration they offer is the special sauce on my life's mcJourney. it's a mysterious, cyclical wonder - i become inspired to birth something into the world, which in turn inspires another, and so on. pretty cool, eh?<br /><br />just today i've been inspired by reading a new friend's blog, getting some coaching from my solo show director, and from Steve Jobs' wonder-full commencement speech at Stanford. they've all reminded me of who i am and what moves me forward. and that dancing with the rhythm in my own heart is what really matters. oh, and guess what? my rhythm will sync up with yours and hers and his and theirs and then we'll all be contributing to the big ol' grand drum circle. how lovely.<br /><br />ten bucks says you've encountered someone today who makes you want to be a bigger, better you (if this is untrue for you, i'm just kidding about the ten bucks). go with it - it's all inside of you anyway, just waiting to come out. play with it so you can pay it forward...<br /><br />stay hungry. stay foolish.<br />- genius quote of the dayanissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-42338267690943351752011-09-03T20:30:00.000-07:002011-09-03T20:52:57.080-07:00la lunafeathery sand and grainy clouds
<br />conversing and reflecting la luna,
<br />in agreement that she is god of the night
<br />even as el sol shines high in china,
<br />or some other hidden place over there.
<br />ms. moon gives orders - don't dare decline -
<br />to dance into trance and pay homage to your feet;
<br />to sing with the wolves,
<br />to love with bodies touching,
<br />and to spin madly until the world wobbles toward reverse.
<br />she will attest to your faithfulness,
<br />to your bright blue stamp on humanity.
<br />she will whisper your name as los nubes y la arena join hands in prayer.
<br />then you will be compelled, with very little choice,
<br />to worship deep into the night.anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-39567422277095717182011-05-17T21:57:00.000-07:002011-05-17T22:05:16.818-07:00intimacyI admit it – I’m a junkie. I can’t get enough of closeness, affection, eye contact, care, touch, crying, laughing - all ingredients that make up intimacy. At least these things are included in my personal recipe. I’ve experienced so many levels of intimacy with so many people. Lovers, friends, colleagues, kids, even the guy crossing the street in front of my car. Yes, I think it’s possible to create it or find it anywhere if giant, universal love is one of your values.<br /><br />I’ve had a few conversations lately about the subject of intimacy and it’s interesting how different people see it with different glasses. One friend said that for her, it’s finding connection and closeness non-verbally, while another felt that sharing stories of her life constituted intimacy. I know an awful lot of people who would make intimacy synonymous with sex…well, and yes, there’s that. My best attempt at summarizing, very generally, my idea of intimacy is this: any mutual experience that make two (or more) people feel closer to each other, loved and seen in truth.<br /><br />Since this is a subject dear to my heart (after all, I AM a junkie), I’m thinking of writing an expanded piece on it. I’m very interested in knowing how any of you would define intimacy. In one word or many. Bring ‘em on!<br /><br />By the way, my dear Facebook friends, these “notes” are coming to you live from my blog, which is much cuter than the dull, white wall page you’re looking at. If you’d like to see it in color form, I’d be delighted to have you here... http://playwithyourpassions.blogspot.comanissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-34476302829166355492011-05-01T01:57:00.000-07:002011-05-01T02:03:53.005-07:00journal musings of forward intentioni learned some lessons as i hopped on and off of airplanes, in and out of new beds, up and down emotional roller coasters. taking in the world opens doors, opens windows, opens eyes and opens heart. truly. and i know. i know there is a choice - abierto o cerrado - open or closed.<br /><br />the mirror is mocking with gangsta' rap, but i see the deception. broken shiny things in need of pins and needles. forty years in this skin is calling. and i'm running - running like a turtle in heat. running like a crazy lady with arms flailing and feet kicking out to the side in wild abandon, like I did when I was five. no care, no mind to what’s happening inside or outside – only the bliss that’s humming through my body and the means to an unnamed end.<br /><br />did you know only the female mosquitoes take your blood? i should've known. perhaps I should learn the lesson and run far, far away. but she is me. and i am her. so i guess i'll just itch for eternity. <br />I'm an intimacy junkie. I’ll go to near-desperate measures to get a fix. no need for a support group - I consider this one of my best and most charming qualities. addiction to meaning, to depth, to skin-on-skin, to love, and…to risk and danger.<br /><br />i've gone out on a few limbs in life. i'd like to climb higher and further out on the branches. but is it worth the risk? what if it breaks…<br />what if i fall…<br />what if i get a better view…<br />what if the air is cleaner up there…<br />what if i make friends with a bird and he teaches me how to fly…<br />I can carry a list of what matters in my beak, I mean, my mouth: <br />peaceful sleep, quality coffee, artistic food, top-down convertibles, authentic kindness, new experiences, on-time flights, cloud pillows, dance-language, descriptive adjectives, openness… <br />openness...<br /><br />infinite grains of sand shifting and molding into spaces unclaimed. waves bringing gifts from far away worlds and stories that roar and whisper...<br />storytellers give life and meaning and questions.<br />I have questions of color: what color was yesterday? what color is now? what color will tomorrow be? my paintbrush is poised...<br /><br />I’ll write more poems, <br />I’ll write a song, <br />I’ll draw a little man in the shape of me, <br />I’ll smoke a bong,<br />I’ll learn Spanish curse words, <br />I’ll fly to Singapore with or without a plane, <br />I’ll lower some expectations, <br />I’ll raise some standards, <br />I’ll commit to something impossible, <br />I’ll paint a wall the color of my life, <br />I’ll buy lots of amazing shoes, <br />I’ll dance my story,<br />I’ll get another tattoo,<br />I’ll make friends with an animal, <br />I’ll explore my passions very unwisely, <br />i'll embrace a wrinkle or a gray hair as the wonderful work of wisdom, <br />I’ll create a character from my own soul and yours – with a camera in my face, <br />I’ll witness a birth, <br />i'll truthfully decorate the canvas of my body, <br />i'll put more muscle around my bones, <br />i'll find a home that meets my dreams, or maybe it will find me, <br />i'll amp up my belief in abundance, <br />i'll have an amiable relationship with money, <br />i'll break a rule - on purpose, <br />I’ll practice creating magic out of a hat or out of thin air; <br />I’ll recognize magic and spirit-play and love more often, <br />I’ll grieve to the core and with self-compassion, <br />I’ll lose track of time, <br />I’ll wear my watch upside-down, <br />I’ll invent something ridiculous but useful, <br />I’ll do all of these things. <br />or none of them. <br />dreams are as necessary as rainbow confetti and breathing. <br /> <br />every decade branded, every decade a brand of jeans, every decade brings emergence of a theme. the theme has a thumbprint, a song, and a very special hat.anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-60539195603983813932011-03-30T18:05:00.000-07:002011-03-30T18:17:41.941-07:00waterfalls<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGhUVtNSHVLUOe5Q5vnyU2sw1AUdhMl8IFaEn6ZlsGSiCgxVLM63hrcowMmmI10mP04RKzBVeqi7XMt0cGxsXoSKeealYRqUC5SqTz2wy_tq1LQAEh-Oj_ujYgVjcHuw2u9u92ZHPrpRs/s1600/IMG_2948.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGhUVtNSHVLUOe5Q5vnyU2sw1AUdhMl8IFaEn6ZlsGSiCgxVLM63hrcowMmmI10mP04RKzBVeqi7XMt0cGxsXoSKeealYRqUC5SqTz2wy_tq1LQAEh-Oj_ujYgVjcHuw2u9u92ZHPrpRs/s200/IMG_2948.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590046181110485378" /></a><br />I feel a kinship with you, glorious cataratas,<br />something familiar and ancient.<br />Perhaps I’ve been here before with my tribe or my flock or my herd,<br />or maybe it’s simply the knowing that my tears are one and the same as yours, <br />cascading down and refining the earth.<br />Your power, your beauty, your peace and your danger – how can one help but worship?<br />You are god and I am small,<br />and yet somehow we are one.<br />You strike me serious, but the butterflies continue their play – <br />landing on my fingers and inviting me into their world.<br />I hear the joy in your freedom…<br />Be my teacher and I, too, will flow and ROAR!anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-58323849323058869412011-03-06T16:53:00.000-08:002011-03-06T16:58:46.944-08:00artichokes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFpT2ae_2kj8-8o9tJFOcI6TMlp_i8Unb5qDTunoLQ21TBR5rbrApQ8BtRjacd7l2UU9kwbDgLo_Isfg7gjAxurFjNNi2R050qazWtIAVdH3c2X7Xh5nTf7xF2vNqeE3E5cvei3syMWWs/s1600/images.jpeg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFpT2ae_2kj8-8o9tJFOcI6TMlp_i8Unb5qDTunoLQ21TBR5rbrApQ8BtRjacd7l2UU9kwbDgLo_Isfg7gjAxurFjNNi2R050qazWtIAVdH3c2X7Xh5nTf7xF2vNqeE3E5cvei3syMWWs/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581135454402629106" /></a><br />One of the best parts of moving to California was discovering the artichoke. I mean, Cali has many great “A” veggies to offer – artichokes, asparagus, avocados - but the artichoke is special. I didn’t grow up eating them. Not sure why – maybe my parents didn’t like them or maybe they just weren’t available in Oklahoma. My guess is the latter, considering that most of my Oklahoma fare consisted of beef and potatoes. I can imagine the general sentiment there being, “What the hell’s an art-ee-choke?”<br />If you’ve had the pleasure of eating an artichoke, perhaps you can understand why it’s my second favorite food (number one is bacon, but that’s for another story). Though typically a frugal gal, I’ll spare no expense when it comes to having artichokes on a regular basis. Sometimes they can be quite pricey, but I don’t look at the cost much, unless I happen to notice that they’re two for $4.00, in which case I do some little cartwheels in the produce aisle and buy six of them. <br />In my Clark Kent hours, I work as a Nanny. I take care of an adorable four-year-old, who seems to have an aversion to anything green. But I did not let this fact daunt me; I knew that the artichoke could get through. And indeed, it proved itself as the only vegetable worthy of Katie’s affection. We’ve even started a club for artichoke lovers, which includes Katie, her baby sister and myself: “’A’ is for artichoke!” It’s not the least bit surprising that the artichoke can warm the heart of a small child. Not only is it delicious, it’s pretty much the most fun food around. Who can resist picking off each leaf and scraping the ‘meat’ off with your teeth, then getting to throw the used leaf into a pile? And don’t even get me started when there are dipping condiments involved…<br />And now for the less obvious, but very valid reason for my adoration: the word “art” is in artichoke. The artichoke itself is a work of art, as well as inspiring many works of art (including this blog post - ahem). It inspires me every time I eat one, to the point of thinking it might be better to just put it on the counter and gaze at it. In fact, if left un-harvested, the artichoke will bloom with a large purple flower head, finding relevance for its floral display in addition to its yumminess-factor.<br />As a lover of art and beauty, I constantly look for metaphors in life. Everywhere we look, we can see an image of some profound aspect of life. The artichoke is no exception. It’s covered in prickly spines, waiting to draw blood from the enthusiast. Yet to get the heart of it, you have to get past those spines. You also have to scrape away the yucky little stringy things (the choke) that are attached to the heart. But once you get there, it’s the most succulent part of the vegetable, and worth all the work.<br />Now don’t thank me for all of these insights, just be on the lookout for a sale at Whole Foods and pick up one of them art-ee-chokes. See for yourself.anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-27623930902018639352011-01-30T18:23:00.000-08:002011-01-30T18:33:50.753-08:00connectionUndulating synchronicities<br />Of value defined, of sacred space, of laughter explored, of dancing life.<br />Languages spoken and not; articulating from the universe and landing here.<br /><br />Small and subtle openings, like watching a beautiful lily find the sun.<br />Forward motion that's sometimes skipping, <br />sometimes stepping gingerly over stones, <br />and sometimes manifesting as a tango.<br /><br /><br />Beer, beer, I’ve found a peer.<br />Let’s color the evening orange and call it a success. <br />Our responses to life will line up with our desires one day. No rush.<br />For “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.”<br /><br />Like a duck floating on the water -<br />just here, now, with no further agenda.<br />He shows me that to be or not to be really <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> the question.<br />To be with you and you with me.<br /><br />What connection is this, I ask:<br />shared reality or environmental coincidence?<br />Well, either way -<br />I am astounded <br />and grounded,<br />by an authentic mutual exchange.anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-57579374173555352002011-01-11T21:15:00.000-08:002011-01-11T22:00:33.469-08:00acting<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq_l8MffR_HZB0GlnTN8UwNFdjLNPERRMJIoRFDoja7UXDJ9L2qNOG0YR0oZT2T00e7c016AN3bi4bLUsH_G_XFj7gXfWmayXKdVTElIjz0VCDzzK7y3LWUsInhhqkiBBYy_5XHRUXu5Q/s1600/images.jpeg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq_l8MffR_HZB0GlnTN8UwNFdjLNPERRMJIoRFDoja7UXDJ9L2qNOG0YR0oZT2T00e7c016AN3bi4bLUsH_G_XFj7gXfWmayXKdVTElIjz0VCDzzK7y3LWUsInhhqkiBBYy_5XHRUXu5Q/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561174173815822658" /></a><br />my latest adventure has been diving into acting classes. i decided i needed to get a jump-start on my retirement plan of being an old lady actress. think Betty White, "where's the beef" lady, "i've fallen and i can't get up" lady, Cher's grandpa in Moonstruck. the fun stuff. i think it's a brilliant plan and could be the most important career of my life.<br /><br />but that's a little way off, so in the meantime, i'm learning the ins and outs of what it means to put on a character. after only 8 weeks of the basics and improvisation, i already see how this acting thing can get to the best (and worst) of you. it's a practice of presence like i've never experienced before. being in the moment and allowing your authentic self to play out while "embodying" someone else is mind-blowing. i've seen parts of me and of humanity exposed in the process and it's a very beautiful thing. sometimes disturbing, but always beautiful.<br /><br />so, i'm finding that acting requires taking off shame, not being afraid to make a fool of myself, opening to every possibility, listening deeply to my heart, and not shrinking from intimacy. life lessons across the board. not easy, but much appreciated. so i'm moving on to the level two class in the new year. yay!<br /><br />a friend recently commented that i participate in a lot of "self enrichment" activities. this made me laugh, but alas, she's correct. i hope i'll be enriching myself from now to eternity. what's the opposite of that, anyway? self un-richment? no thanks. and i hope you, reader, will enroll yourself in whatever class, workshop, meetup, community, etc. that will bring enrichment to your life. i think un-richment must suck.<br /><br />"to be or not to be. that IS the question."<br />sending love...anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-59708545668832668312010-10-30T22:16:00.000-07:002010-10-30T22:24:59.696-07:00openingA door opens when someone pushes it<br />Or pulls<br />Or steps on the automatic floor thingy<br /><br />How satisfying when the store you need something from is open<br />Or the restaurant with your favorite soup<br /><br />In springtime a flower opens to smile at the sun <br />And shows us the color side of its petals<br /><br />You open a book to scan the brilliance of another<br />Or the lame attempt at literary significance<br /><br />I open my mouth to eat ice cream<br />And bacon<br />Sometimes mixed together<br />Oh, and to sing in the shower, of course<br /><br />In the escalating heat, a woman opens to her lover for their sacred pleasure<br /><br />You open your eyes when you wake in the morning<br />Then open the curtains to see about the weather<br /><br />We open the freezer to take out the frozen dinner <br />That we stick in the oven while we check e-mail<br />Which we open in the Internet browser <br />After opening our computer<br /><br />I open the lid of the toilet<br />Because I am a woman<br /><br />The window is opened for a fresh breeze <br />Or for survival when someone, you know, ...farts<br /><br />If we are blessed, we rip open a gift on our birthday<br />And possibly Christmas<br /><br />When our child is crying we open our arms to hug away the sad<br /><br />I open my heart to the world<br />Inviting the pain<br />And the wild bliss<br />And making a case for the ritual of openinganissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-68639556093790270702010-09-26T15:38:00.001-07:002010-09-26T16:15:50.448-07:00writing<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6duNa-2hutRHAR42fLfMtR0qSOIyHBlqDQujUAbSiOV4uZgcMDjRuCXElflRyjkrF7m30YCdvylLmoIgGVx2nUxOpZvQq7IovdUCW73DybEL96QYmrFIfvalfltGVgSD0a82_4GL9T04/s1600/IMG_1854.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 165px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6duNa-2hutRHAR42fLfMtR0qSOIyHBlqDQujUAbSiOV4uZgcMDjRuCXElflRyjkrF7m30YCdvylLmoIgGVx2nUxOpZvQq7IovdUCW73DybEL96QYmrFIfvalfltGVgSD0a82_4GL9T04/s200/IMG_1854.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521362271674222338" border="0" /></a><br />i'm finding more and more how necessary it is to chronicle life - thoughts, hopes, dreams, rants, made-up stuff. writing is therapy for me. self-discovery on paper and screen. up to now, most of my words have been devoted to journaling and blogging and an occasional poem-esque thing. this type of writing is essential to my creative me because it's mostly uncensored and in raw form. i'm not terribly picky about writing supplies, although not long ago, i decided it would be fun to make myself a journal. when it was finished, i was tempted to give it away as a gift to someone, so on the first page, i painted in giant letters "MINE!" and i'm glad i kept it. it's nice to write in something specifically devoted to 'these words' of mine.<br /><br />so. i recently decided to take a creative writing class to expand my understanding of this wordsmithing craft. perhaps it's unnecessary to learn how to write right, but it's challenging me and i love a challenge. i think it's the first step in helping me get from being a writer to being a story teller. and i've got stories to tell. we all do. we each have something to say and a unique voice to say it with. there will be self judgment, there will be resistance to vulnerability, there will be a struggle with truth, there will even be some quitting. and some days there will just be a big, happy vocabulary playground. but in the end, because of or in spite of the process, what you write may - just may - touch another human (or yourself) with the realization that they are not alone in this world. and that will make it all worth the word-work. don't you agree?anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-1710799632480796712010-08-29T15:56:00.001-07:002010-08-30T11:21:12.410-07:00children<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjarF-h6bJZn66FqwQeaV0lqWLhA3Ypovb45MJE_gvm9RE3a-5ycN06J_Mf9RUxZlIeZwpgR0tx8-49nHlLfxJuTcoPBsv6bK0vo_yLKkdU3W0mR3s9D2hTTZE3UM5ZVstNrjcQVW1BZHE/s1600/swings.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjarF-h6bJZn66FqwQeaV0lqWLhA3Ypovb45MJE_gvm9RE3a-5ycN06J_Mf9RUxZlIeZwpgR0tx8-49nHlLfxJuTcoPBsv6bK0vo_yLKkdU3W0mR3s9D2hTTZE3UM5ZVstNrjcQVW1BZHE/s200/swings.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5510981081665458258" border="0" /></a>is it possible that i haven't written a blog about kids yet? really? i'm not sure how i've been able to discuss anything about play without discussing children. they are the inventors and upholders of play. it's in their fabric, their essence. their development depends on it.<br /><br />i've spent most of my life working (playing) with children in many different shapes and forms. i've babysat, taught, siblinged, nannyed, tutored and friended hundreds of children over the years . i've never mothered any, and perhaps i won't, but my cup is full. the lessons learned about creativity and acceptance and innocence and maturity and grief and unconditional love will be part of me forever.<br /><br />i will never forget when Katie (age 3) looked up from her coloring and asked, "anissa, would you like to art with me?" leave it to a child to understand that art is a verb.<br /><br />i will never forget when i asked caroline (age 2) "how did you get so big?" and she answered, "i not SO big - i can't reach da candy" (which her mother kept on the top shelf).<br /><br />i will never forget when i was teaching animal names and sounds to a group of Russian 4-year-olds and one boy wanted to stick to the dog sound he knew in russian-"gaff-gaff". i said, "Kolya, in english, dogs say 'arf-arf'" to which he replied with a bit of exasperation, "anissa, dogs don't speak english".<br /><br />i will never forget the many experiences of joy that i've witnessed on people who received a smile from a child. a smile - it's so simple.<br /><br />i will never forget when i turned on the music for the class and Nastia (age 3) shouted the song above everyone, because she loved the song so much and wanted to hear her own voice.<br /><br />i will never forget Caleb (age 9) blatantly questioning god and eternity after his mother died.<br /><br />i will never forget all of the children who never cared if i had a zit or messy hair or bad breath or dry skin, but looked at me adoringly anyway. they respond to love, not to the external.<br /><br />i will never forget amanda (age 2) pointing at a woman at the pool and saying (very loudly), "she's fat!". for kindness' sake, we learn to temper, but oh, the beautiful honesty.<br /><br />i will never forget that every child has a world to play in, born of the imagination and fueled by zeal for life and the now. i've begun to recapture this, with children as my role models and mentors. i am so grateful for the life i've been given.<br /><br />(selah)anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-92169206780354298182010-07-31T20:53:00.000-07:002010-07-31T21:05:45.506-07:00cloudswow! beautiful sky-art!<br />you hold the key<br /><div style="text-align: left;">to what i want to be when i grow up.<br /></div>boundless, free, unpredictable, evolving.<br />arting in the heavens and on the earth;<br />you draw shapes on the land when Her Majesty shines.<br />you protect, you provide and you are.<br />i rejoice that my experience of you cannot contain you.<br />passing by as a fly<br />over your ever-changing mountains,<br />i long to jump in and try on that cotton candy dress.<br />beauty with purpose.<br />who dares presume such promising?<br />i strain my ear to hear<br />and cumulus whispers, "thank you for noticing."anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-4476789641994918882010-05-30T16:39:00.000-07:002010-05-31T16:55:59.181-07:00travel<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5zlH_9DrCTffTZkJ22WqdbhClJKqQeg9Aum54TIECK4IaRfsfHyw8IvpOK0zp9EfHpA3QdO_B7sDCN2nHTBcQ1213xMuJY47OttniLB6iupONLWkbGyqHLRP1O6JgMQ5nief0a_-uR4/s1600/107_0717.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5zlH_9DrCTffTZkJ22WqdbhClJKqQeg9Aum54TIECK4IaRfsfHyw8IvpOK0zp9EfHpA3QdO_B7sDCN2nHTBcQ1213xMuJY47OttniLB6iupONLWkbGyqHLRP1O6JgMQ5nief0a_-uR4/s200/107_0717.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477587041270920658" border="0" /></a>here i am, once again, trying to decide which shoes to take and how many Q-tips i'll actually need; 20 necklaces? come on, really, anissa? toothpaste and deodorant for sure. check. and thank god i have an ipod touch now, so i can leave my computer at home. oh the joys of packing, especially when you have several destinations that may vary in temperatures by 50 degrees or so. but, i actually love the packing part of traveling. that's when it starts, even before you head out to the airport.<br /><br />this particular trip will involve stops in Russia, France and the islands of North Carolina. i get to see loved ones, eat amazing food, experience other thought-lives, behold Red Square and the Eiffel Tower, dance, laugh and be. and most importantly, i'll get the cultural 'cleanse' i've been craving for some time.<br /><br />you see, for me, international travel didn't start until i was 24. but once i tasted of airports, foreign languages and the realization that not everyone thinks like me, i was hooked. every time i encounter another culture, i experience moments of thinking i want to stay there forever. and i experience presence in a truer, deeper way than at home. new and unique experiences invoke awareness in a way that is often lost when we're comfortably hanging out in the familiar. one of my life-challenges is to find that now-ness in the 'mundane' as well as in the exciting adventure. but i'm getting off track...<br /><br />so, i have a life-goal to visit every continent (maybe with the exception of Antarctica - it's cold there and i'm sure that what i need for internalizing penguin culture can be found in the film Happy Feet), and as many countries as possible. wouldn't it be cool if i could be the first woman to visit every country in the world? there's an Indian man who's done it, but no woman that i'm aware of. hmmmm... if you'd like to fund such a venture, i promise i'd write a book about it and put your name in the dedication. think about it.<br /><br />now go see the world! traveling mercies...anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-76981267937968626452010-03-28T15:29:00.000-07:002010-03-28T16:07:29.961-07:00learningokay, i admit it - i'm a learn-a-holic. i'm completely addicted to the learning process. so much so that i seem to always be involved in some combination of classes, programs, trainings, groups, workshops, lessons, conferences and certifications. i also buy way more books than i could ever read in one lifetime. let's see, how many books are on my shelf that i haven't read yet? just a sec and i'll go count..1,2,3.....48. geez.<br /><br />i've had some judgments about myself in the past - "mind chatter" if you will - that i take on way more than i can chew. well, maybe i can chew it, but swallowing is a whole other matter. i tend to find something that excites me and i jump in with both feet. then when it's run its course, i move on to the next thing or things. but what i've realized lately is that none of my learning is wasted. even if i don't practice or use the thing enough to retain it all, i fully believe that every piece i'm supposed to have will stick. and it's all like a giant collage (i love collage) - bits and pieces to make one big whole. i'm seeing how it comes together in a very intricate and beautiful way.<br /><br />you want to know more about cooking, trees, chakras, government, the planets, tai chi, stamps, singing, coffee, computers or whatever? go for it! never think it's dumb, 'cause there's most likely something for you in it. maybe it's already a passion that you want to investigate, or maybe it's a curiosity that will turn into a passion. whatever the case, learning is never a waste. and don't get me wrong, i don't define learning as simply head knowledge. it's the big picture of intake, output, experience, action and essence. so sign up for that workshop you've had your eye on. i'm pretty sure you'll be glad you did.<br /><br />p.s. don't forget to play!anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-91925211792354510492010-02-19T21:39:00.000-08:002010-02-19T22:32:42.246-08:00aromatherapy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQm0lEJkbgAjRSIl-YC9NHt1qvr1SF3DcYxFP-TzVLo4v8VjxmWbEuIVi1_BPOGB14PhNcM213VkyDXtR3dO94gsR1As9-Q2HVgWs-aN8GpEyThfKiA_EjN6RJwDvTiebkJc5HipCN3VE/s1600-h/lavender2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQm0lEJkbgAjRSIl-YC9NHt1qvr1SF3DcYxFP-TzVLo4v8VjxmWbEuIVi1_BPOGB14PhNcM213VkyDXtR3dO94gsR1As9-Q2HVgWs-aN8GpEyThfKiA_EjN6RJwDvTiebkJc5HipCN3VE/s320/lavender2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440208699443125426" border="0" /></a>i have very sensitive nostrils. my olfactory epithelium is very particular about what it wants to allow in. and i'm told very firmly when a particular smell is not welcome. on the other hand, when something is delightfully fragrant, there's a small party in my nose and throughout my whole being, really. in fact, it can take me to an other-world experience. enter aromatherapy...<br /><br />good quality essential oils are nature's wellness and healing essences. i've always loved inhaling them and drenching myself in them. my scent of choice for years was patchouli, even though i was often accused of being a 70's hippie or covering a marijuana habit (never the case on either count, by the way). it's just that when i smell that scent, i love myself SO much. it's causing neurons to fire and energy to flow. but hey, pick any essential oil and you'll have things happening - body, soul & spirit. and they're not just for inhaling, but can be used topically and internally. the more i learn about the benefits they offer, the more convinced i am to use them and offer them to others. so much so that i became a distributor in one of the world's leading essential oil companies - <a href="http://anissamatthews.younglivingworld.com/MainFrame.asp?BodyFrame=members/Contact_main.asp">Young Living</a>. it's a company that shares my values as well as offering the highest quality products, so i'm in. have a look if you wanna know more. and check out my website to read a few more thoughts i have on <a href="http://www.anissamatthews.com/aromatherapy.html">aromatherapy</a>.<br /><br />the sense of smell is the most connected with memory, so it makes sense that aromas can be very therapeutic - bringing out the dark and light so that we can look at it and move through it.<br />so, if you don't have a bottle of "Grounding" or "Peace and Calming", grab a lemon or a rose or a sprig of lavender and breathe deeply. close your eyes and make it a type of prayer or meditation. you'll be amazed at what your nose can do for you...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ1WNrh8tsHPh6bZORL6pmCjZgRZZMOCtfyLNoOdLzVI2lkAVS6T9Myljlatug9bm3U59bMd8lZATIPqTzvu4vQlJ7TQbj6C3eFgO3u1W5etspaTAq_PGCxAFrtTTRuNr6ix4hG1jVWhM/s1600-h/YLoils.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 120px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ1WNrh8tsHPh6bZORL6pmCjZgRZZMOCtfyLNoOdLzVI2lkAVS6T9Myljlatug9bm3U59bMd8lZATIPqTzvu4vQlJ7TQbj6C3eFgO3u1W5etspaTAq_PGCxAFrtTTRuNr6ix4hG1jVWhM/s320/YLoils.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440208823525091906" border="0" /></a>anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-53565599172679394452010-01-10T21:01:00.000-08:002010-04-29T14:23:25.290-07:00making stuff<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7g3nCwAmzwqvrPH8PAiVzbjlcaYe9lt_et_cIDEKrYQdHBbYR0WwcCLNEwnsNn1pP1l66rX4EXqXvQSnKXB2jQIwhO3iMg8vP9fopC7mbxAYSdDptU9Tiw3qog-Ho4GUUa_XQ7n_EWXE/s1600-h/IMG_0546.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 203px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7g3nCwAmzwqvrPH8PAiVzbjlcaYe9lt_et_cIDEKrYQdHBbYR0WwcCLNEwnsNn1pP1l66rX4EXqXvQSnKXB2jQIwhO3iMg8vP9fopC7mbxAYSdDptU9Tiw3qog-Ho4GUUa_XQ7n_EWXE/s320/IMG_0546.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425352158850718594" border="0" /></a>making, making, doing, creating. it's so much fun to make something out of nothing (well, if by nothing i mean all of the beautiful stuff in the soul) - arting if you will. i like trying all mediums - clay, beads, fabric, string, ink, cameras, thread, wire, straw, rock, paper, scissors - and best of all the stuff that just shows up in a drawer, begging to be used for something.<br />i've found that most of my motivation for arting comes from wanting to make something meaningful and special for friends or family. if i have someone in mind, my creativity seems to double. only recently was i able to make myself the recipient of my creative juices and feel good about it. i've been involved in a fanTAStic expressive arts group for the last 2 years and out of it have come many, many pieces of me in all different forms. i've completely enjoyed making stuff for little ol' me and not worrying about being 'selfish'. selfish-shmelfish. how can we do for others if we can't do for ourselves? there's a circle of love and life of which we must be included or it's not complete. if i exclude myself, where do i get the authority to include others? see?<br />yeah, well, let me break it down simply: see this little fuzzy-pillow-guy? his name's Harry (for obvious reasons, i think, but let me know if you need help). i made him for myself; for my own pleasure. he lives on my couch and welcomes people into my home. he never fails to make them smile. he serves a purpose bigger than i created him for. and if and when he seems to need a new home, i may gift him to you. if that happens, you'll have his story to remind you of <span style="font-style: italic;">your</span> place in the big picture of love. or you could make your own Harry (or Arthur or Stella or Ferdinand) and we can fill the planet with little fuzzy reminders.<br />art on!...anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-59627959871768749902009-12-04T21:00:00.000-08:002009-12-04T21:38:43.380-08:00bargainsi recently got a great deal on the most fun vehicle i've ever owned, and even more recently got a bag full of clothes for $17.48 at Goodwill on a special "everything's $2 day". i am stoked! yes, all of my life i've been a thrift-queen, frugal-franny, and digger-in-bargain-bins. you know that lady whose face you don't see because she's buried under the crazy bargain-bin pile? yep, that's me. but i have no shame. i've learned to love and embrace this part of me - heck, i'm even quite proud of it. it's this thriftiness (i choose to think of it as a conscious awareness practice), combined with a lot of trust, which has given me what i consider to be the abundant life i've always lived. i want to note that included in abundance is the immense generosity of many loved ones and the universe, which has plenty for all. but i highgress ... where was i?<br />oh yes, i was speaking of sales, bargains, coupons, deals, freebies, barters, mark-downs, wholesale, gifts, airline miles, etc -<span style="font-style: italic;"> LOVE</span> them. however, the down side of this is when you let your heart shift a bit more to the greedy or penny-pinching side. i've gone there in the past and tried out 'freebie websites' to get deals and make some money, but ended up wasting a lot of time and energy, and losing money in the end. i realized i'd become too focused on the deals and what i could get, rather than what i actually needed. and it bit me in the ass. duly noted for future - keep motives clear.<br />so, this being the holiday season and all, i thought i'd write some thoughts about this particular passion of mine in hopes that maybe some of you would become more conscious about where your money is going or not going, as you peruse the aisles at Shops-a-lot or the Web that wants to trap you and feed you to the <span style="font-style: italic;">Spider of Commerce</span> (insert creepy music). there's tremendous satisfaction in knowing that you managed to get groovy stuff for your loved ones and still have money to pay rent next month. believe me.<br />so, be creative, be wise, be aware. and look for the "buy one get one free" sign!anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-64011052043557654272009-11-02T18:01:00.000-08:002009-11-02T18:36:17.496-08:00san franciscoi just came down from the highest point in san francisco (which happens to be my backyard), and i'm almost speechless. almost. the view was the most stunning one i've seen since living here. maybe even ever. i stood on the top and just received the 360 degree beauty-gift. <br /><br />to the south: expansive city rolling over the horizon toward the airport and los angeles. <br /><br />to the east: oh my. it was dusk, so the sun had just set, but the city was still quite visible. all of the street lights and car lights had come on, so the city sparkled with crazy-colored jewels shimmering about. the magnificence of man was doing a dance below me. and above, the most ginormous full moon shining on the bay and covering the city. an ode to its glory. <br /><br />to the north: the Golden Gate bridge with it's fascinating beauty that we all find pride in, as if we'd had a hand in constructing the beams. framed by the backdrop of the Marin Headlands, i'm not sure that i'd realized the fine-tuned balance of man and nature until today.<br /><br />to the west: well. to the west is that great expanse that holds more mystery than anything else on earth. the water was clear and still and stretched out to a ruler-straight horizon. the sun had just tucked itself into bed and left burnt sienna smears behind. actually, it was a color that crayola probably hasn't invented yet. it must be the color of air in our lungs, because it was filling mine.<br /><br />i felt something akin to royalty in those moments. pure peace, only interrupted by the decision of which direction to turn next. i suppose i'm sharing this experience because i haven't always been sure about my feelings for san francisco. today i understood how very passionate i am about this city with it's powerful mind and it's beautiful Mother. i know that there is big purpose and a sparkling path to meander on. i'm so thankful for being plunked down in a place that honors the universal connectedness of all. and i'm so thankful for seeing that represented in the view from Twin Peaks tonight.<br />(deep breath in, big sigh out)anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-10549267672901347952009-09-19T21:04:00.000-07:002009-09-19T21:32:25.111-07:00symbol of abundance or "car"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd0LDieL0NbO5zyxScJ76puTiM3UAfM8MVGYKMyCsEnejue0NPFZebqJRax_WrJN4w88dNwcNb8Vpv4a_Dqo-XOlgGWZxZ2JWaEpaOuIFCvHF6vUTCmkuaMoeRiPZQJ24tF7UUPxq_fAI/s1600-h/IMG_0179.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 109px; height: 81px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd0LDieL0NbO5zyxScJ76puTiM3UAfM8MVGYKMyCsEnejue0NPFZebqJRax_WrJN4w88dNwcNb8Vpv4a_Dqo-XOlgGWZxZ2JWaEpaOuIFCvHF6vUTCmkuaMoeRiPZQJ24tF7UUPxq_fAI/s320/IMG_0179.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383401681770144562" border="0" /></a><br />so, after 6+ years of being carless, i just bought a car and drove it home yesterday. my attitude toward vehicles and most things is a very simplistic, minimalist one. don't need bells and whistles, as long as it gets me from point A to point B. my tendency has always been to look at nearly dead used cars or stripped bare new cars (as in manual roll-down windows and no A/C). but a few months ago i started saying that i wanted something perfect for me, whatever that meant. i also said that i wanted a free car, realizing that what i was really asking for was a great deal, since i'm not a panhandler by trade. i started trusting that it would come and not be a big time-guzzler (since i have no time to guzzle these days). <br />i spent one morning looking at cars and at the 2nd place i went, a car in the way-back of the used car section was singing to me. weird, cuz it was red and i generally don't like red. probably cuz i have a story that it's pretentious or something. anyway, i went back and looked at it and knew it wanted me as much as i wanted it. it was in pristine shape and had low mileage. i made a very low offer, which i thought they'd laugh at, but after a 30 minute connection with the Russian manager, he said "okay, i'll do it, since you love my Russia so much". i signed the paperwork the same day and am now an owner of a Red BMW Convertible (!).<br />how cliche. and how ironic, since i'm the antithesis of cliche. part of me feels strange for having something so extravagant, but what i'm learning from this car is that abundance is. period. it just is. when we ask, we are given. but will we graciously accept it? i don't need a gadget that tells me how many more miles i can drive before my gas runs out, but i've got it. and i'm so thankful for it. giddy with gratitude, in fact.<br />my friend told me that i'm magic. somehow producing things out of thin air. but that's cuz i believe in it and there's a 'greater than' on my side. askin' and callin' it in, that's what.<br />i'm so excited about the convertible part, that i think i shall drive with it down always. i'll keep some supplies in the glove box - swim goggles for foggy days and a beanie cap with umbrella for rainy days.<br />is this a blog about my car? nope. but, you got that, right?<br />where's your symbol of the abundance of the earth? there's always enough for all, and sometimes extravagance even pours in, cuz that's the way it is.<br /><br />p.s. is it annoying that i write 'because', 'cuz'?anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-29364192443921581532009-08-31T13:32:00.000-07:002009-08-31T15:42:56.145-07:00truth..or dare?... for me the ultimate dare is the ultimate truth. i spent the majority of my life keeping my own truth inside. only saying what i thought others wanted to hear. only saying what i thought would be accepted and admired. keeping the honest and authentic stuff for whispered conversations with myself.<br />but no more. i'm surrounding myself with the color of truth (blue) and paying much more attention to my throat chakra. i'm challenging myself daily to not only speak my truth, but to hear it in the first place. this takes listening ears. i have to hear from the inside, even more than the outside, to really know what's true for me. this is vital, because if i don't know it for myself, then how can i communicate it to others?<br />and you know what's really freeing? truth is far from absolute. what's true for me, may not be true for you. and that's okay. as long as you know yours and i know mine and we're meeting in a place of gorgeous authenticity. what more could we ask? as far as i'm concerned, real honesty is where love resides. love of self and love of other.<br />so get ready - i'm about to point out when you have a booger in your nose or b.o. or a bad haircut. well, just kidding. if that's what you think this is about, go back and read it again. and then hang out with yourself on occasion to think about what truth is for you. what's your definition? can you make a list of some truths? how easy is it for you to communicate it to others? maybe you're one of those people whose truth fits you like a good pair of jeans. you provoke both hope and envy in me. but i'm on my way. i want that kind of freedom.<br />yes, and so be it.anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-25114663017086228132009-08-20T13:43:00.000-07:002011-01-28T17:35:08.628-08:00artthink of how much art is a part of our world - there's art in smart, tart, start, partition, mart, fart, participate, dart, arthritis, earth, warthog, part, cart, parthenon, artichoke, farthing, party, chart, BART, partner, and heart. can you add some more words to the list? i'd like to know all of them, please.<br />and then there are other important things to say about art...<br /><br />i define art as 'the outward expression of the inward experience'. too often we get hung up on thinking there's a certain way to do it or a certain outcome that's expected; we need training in technique; we need to sell or publish before we're 'legit'. well, those are just the stories flying around in our heads. i used to believe them, but not anymore. the <span style="font-style: italic;">truth</span> is, if you have something to say or draw or cook or paint or write or knit or dance or sing or play or bake or build or sculpt or mold or sew or, or, or...<br />yep, that makes you an artist. putting something 'out there' that's 'in there' is all it takes, and that's the only story that's true. i love participating in and observing the creation of art. everyone's life-process is unique and there's so much to express.<br />so, as you jump in to more of you, see what leaks out. maybe it's a silly poem or a crazy-happy-dance or a deep, dark secretive painting, or a scrumptious cake-a-dilly delight. it's all good, and you will know yourself just a bit better for having put something observable out there. art - artist - artistic - artistically - artisticallyfragilisticexpialidocious!anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-55302481491856074512009-07-31T21:32:00.000-07:002009-07-31T22:12:33.217-07:00flowers<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWljbsrzLKOymjOybXYROU-LLNESm20omavPjMI9VHnHuWmSk7UtogwxXLnxp-kLq53guR3xhUtJK3q_vzU2phP7GzRiinrLQQPsyXIfqGl55AasvqMm5A8DOlDc9TKliRUS4XSDo8Ags/s1600-h/IMG_9960.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWljbsrzLKOymjOybXYROU-LLNESm20omavPjMI9VHnHuWmSk7UtogwxXLnxp-kLq53guR3xhUtJK3q_vzU2phP7GzRiinrLQQPsyXIfqGl55AasvqMm5A8DOlDc9TKliRUS4XSDo8Ags/s320/IMG_9960.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364848947987344050" border="0" /></a><br />so who doesn't like flowers? getting them, receiving them, picking them, looking at them, meditating on them. my darling friends gave me these last night after a performance - aren't they gorgeous?<br />i love that flowers are used by us humans as a form of emotional expression. they're part of weddings, funerals, parties, given as a healing gesture to the sick, a gift on a birthday, a congratulations for accomplishments, a sign of friendship or love. i have a favorite russian kids cartoon, where all the animals in the forest keep passing along a found bouquet of flowers to each other and when asked "za chem?"(what for?), the answer is always "prosta tak" (just because); my favorite reason for gifting.<br />always representative of life, beauty and the spectrum of color that illumines our world, flowers are some of the best teachers, if we take time to learn their lessons. i want so much to be a better student of nature.<br />my favorite flower is a gerbera daisy. i love its openness and bright color that seems to say, "look at me, look at me!" the epitome of an outgoing friend, without fear or hesitation. on the other hand, i love calla lilies, who are some of the most melancholy, mysterious flowers i've experienced. all curled up, they don't want to reveal their core too easily. you have to really look for what's inside if you wanna know. i can relate to both flowers at a life-level.<br />what's your favorite flower? ask it why. you'll love the answer you get, and i can pretty much bet that you'll never walk past one again without passing it a smile or knowing look.<br />stick some in your hair, make necklaces, tape one to your nose and breathe deeply. flower-power!anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-8206176130867827392009-07-28T13:37:00.000-07:002009-07-28T14:09:08.856-07:00wholenessprobably as most humans have, i've been on a life-journey of finding wholeness. that integration of body, emotions, mind and spirit, which will produce a completely whole and functioning being. "holism", if you will. while healing is involved in that process, i've learned not to put too much focus on it, because focus on healing causes focus on pain and brokenness. i prefer to put my attention to the teacher that pain can be. (what can i learn? what is it trying to tell me about my thought/feeling-life?) and setting intentions toward wholeness. this kind of focus brings hope (and ultimately healing).<br />through my training in massage therapy, i'm having some very interesting experiences. i'm finding that there's emotional pain stored in my body that my mind is not even aware of. hear that? - body, emotions, mind, all functioning separately. as those things start to surface and release out, i'm one step closer to wholeness, where everything is inseparable in harmony. fascinating stuff. have to put in another plug for bodywork - get it! everyone needs it and it will amp up your journey to wholeness.<br />i'm reading a book that i highly recommend called, "You can heal your life" by Louise L. Hay. a little cheesemo at times, but overall very chewy stuff. profound but simple concepts.<br />so that's my preach for the day. i'll try to move on to something lighter next time. god knows i've got plenty of that material, too. :)<br />happy day!anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2626056821233785985.post-75878532476415173932009-07-04T15:35:00.000-07:002009-07-04T16:27:30.811-07:00alonenessi dearly love to be alone. love it and need it. don't get me wrong, i adore me some people; but when it comes to recharging my energy battery, i have to do it with just me. when i'm in that space, only trees, oceans, flowers and birds are welcome.<br />so, the thing that i'm finding is that as i commune with myself and nature and the great love that's always swirling, i can bring what i've accumulated in aloneness and pour it into togetherness. i fully believe in love and loving relationships, friendships, families, etc., but i realize that for them to be at their full potential requires me being happy just being with me. this is a beautiful thing to embrace whenever your facebook status happens to be "single". welcome it, don't resent it; hug it, don't hate on it. it's not a curse - it's an opportunity.<br />a friend just commented the other day about how there are millions of "me and you goin' fishin' in the dark" songs in the universe, but no "i'm flying solo and lovin' it" songs out there. so, i decided to start writing one for her. i only had 5 minutes to commit to it, so don't judge. :)<br /><br />surround me with love and songs and paint;<br />give me a brush and a quiet rendition.<br />i'll give it my all just for me and my shadow -<br />check the box if you've read the terms and conditions.<br />don't push me baby, cuz i ain't no saint;<br />i'll do what i want when i want to (yeah),<br />and this is love, too, of another dimension.<br />(do-wop-wop-do-wop)<br /><br />ok, but seriously, i do realize that sometimes aloneness can cross the line into loneliness. or i can get disillusioned with people and want to just hole up away from them. (i recently thought about creating "hermit the blog", dedicated to the art of being alone, but since i can't even keep up with this one, 2 is probably a bit ambitious.) anyway, i believe that even the shadow side of aloneness has value. and i'm doing my best not to run away from it.<br />if you happen to be partnered in life, i encourage you to find that time to retreat off into your own body, soul and spirit; if you happen to be single, sing hallelujah for the opportunity you have with yourself. and make friends with lots of trees.anissa matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03752854057499018175noreply@blogger.com3